How to avoid drifting from God

Just watched a video posted by "The Bible" on facebook... it's entitled as this post is. Key verse: I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing - John 15:5

It's true that apart from Him we can do nothing... The dude in the video described how sometimes we're like a balloon which is all puffed up and the huge words are displayed - Smile :) Jesus loves you. Thing is, sometimes when we are deflated, the balloon just becomes that small crummy piece of rubber, the words shrink too and the words - Smile :) Jesus loves you becomes so shrivelled up that it becomes unnoticable. The truth still remains, but it just becomes so small in our sight that we forget about Him. We forget our God and we drift away...

Apart from Him, I can do nothing. It's a gentle reminder that even in this exam period, as things start to get stressful once again, I'll have to remain in Him if I ever wish to accomplish anything in the exams... or even in this study period for the matter.

Just Let Me Say

New song I learnt today in VCF FT... Nice song; wonderful lyrics~

Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face

And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame

Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You my Lord and Friend

So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I've found in You

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend (x2)

Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Ploughing ahead

It's only been three days into school and things are already happening at bullet train speed. Not just academically, although that too has just been overwhelming. But the things happening around me aren't just academically centred.

In this short period of time, there's been so much going on, some were joyous occasions, others were somewhat more emotionally-draining. The common question to all these now, are: Where do I go from there?

Doors that used to be open are now closed, other closed doors are now opening, while doors which were never there are now starting to appear. It's all a haze when I start to think about my possible options and the different available routes. Weighing pros to cons, cost to benefit, there are so many things that I simply cannot put into perspective; worst still, it's all happening in this short timeframe. I'm currently at that point where i'm in between attempting to solve my problems and being jaded by what's happening. At times I just wish I could adopt the escapist attitude and find a window to throw things out rather than decide on which door to take. Or better still, if only God would just lay before me a bright red carpet towards the best door to go through and usher me in...

The only hope that is keeping me going now is that God has promised to be faithful and guide me in my steps.

"That is why we are not discouraged. Though outwardly we are wearing out inwardly we are renewed day by day" - 2 Corinthians 4:16

Random before school thoughts

Ok, so I aimed to finish the whole Abbas textbook during recess week and ended up finishing a quarter so far. How productive. So what do I do when I can't study/don't feel like studying? I do other things =D

So.. I dug up an old link that I saved for reading some 1 year ago and finally brought it up to read again. It's titled: Do Evil and Suffering Disprove the Existence of God? Pretty interesting read, although heavy on the mind if you try to analyze it... If you do read it though, the links on the page itself are broken so you'll have to change the number on the URL from 1>2>3 to go to pg 1/2/3 respectively

Anyways, I read it through, and on page 3, there was this line that sort of impacted me a decent bit:

"A child who is hurting needs, not an intellectual explanation, but reassurance"

I'm reminded of the times when I question God why, why and why. Up to now, I still don't have answers to many of the 'why's but I find that, each time I did slip into that mayhem of confusion and distress, the way I climbed out of it, wasn't by answers but rather by the reassurance by God. Answers would seem to be a better comfort but then, answers do lead to more questions. It's a never ending cycle.

In the same way, I find that whenever things start to weigh down, when it seems the whole world just comes crashing down, it's the reassurance of God that keeps me going. Even right now, as I'm on a sian/emo-streak with that void of emptiness within me, I pray that God will reasssure me of His unfailing love, His ever-lasting grace and His divinest comfort.

Sigh~ so much more to write about but I suppose I better get back to studying. Recess week wasn't too fulfilling; I wish I had another one. But I suppose having one week is better than nothing... From the optimistic viewpoint, there's still Sunday tomorrow =O

Edit: I just finished reading the last part of it and came across this line: "In addition, many Christians will testify that Christ provides inner resources to cope, as well as joy in the midst of difficulties and suffering when we trust Him. And He promises that He causes all things to work together for good to those who love God." Amen! :D

VCF Fellowship Talk 140910

----------------------------------------------------------
Always put God first in everything you do;
Never make studying your first priority
- Professor Lockhart
----------------------------------------------------------

Completing the Mission

That was today's sermon topic. It was my first time back to church in 3 weeks.. Past 2 weeks I didn't go because I overlslept/was down with a terible flu. But thank God that I went to church today. The sermon really served as a timely reminder to me about the race that I'm running...

It's only been 2 weeks into school and I'm already so overwhelmed and flabbergasted by lectures, tutorials, practicals etc. Not to mention the fact that I should be studying already by now but just don't have the discipline to start. It seems like this year is very much like the previous year where I enter the year with the determination to do well and the resolution to study hard/harder but very soon the mundane school work just drains every little bit of drive and passion in me, leaving me as the average guy who just wishes to get over each day of school, hoping for the holidays to come once again.

Today's sermon was by a missionary who was called by God to serve in another country, outside his comfort zone. Much of the missions involved reaching out to the poorest people, the ones marginalised from society; people whom we wouldn't give a second look to. Medical work was one of the many ways that help was extended to them. The videos and testimonies which were presented to us reminded me so greatly of the very fact as to why I wanted to do Medicine - to serve God and His people.

Time and again in MCF, I've been reminded by the sharings never to lose sight of the purpose as to why we're doing Medicine. Problem is, as forgetful people, it becomes so common to do exactly that.

Once again, I'm thankful that I went to church this morning as I was really touched by the preacher's sharing and words regarding the various activities that he participated in. It really serves to rekindle the passion I had for Medicine before the academic year even started last year... And I pray that this passion in me will not die out again due to the hectic school life.

T_T

School's starting =( I've been wanting to post about so many different things but somehow my mind keeps getting blocked when I start. Oh holidays why are you so short~

Past, present, future

It's been about 2 weeks into holidays now, and I've been asked by a quite a number of people what I've been up to during the holidays...

I've been surprisingly busy during this period, although definitely nowhere as stressed as I was before the exam period. Today is perhaps one of the moments I have to do my own things at home.

Thinking back, it's been a rather long journey since the release of the A level results till now. Events ranging from the anticipation and uncertainty in the ACJC hall, to the hasty preparation of documents for NUS in the midst of the ever so demanding army, and then to the toughest time of my life (education wise). All this together with the occassional problems and newly found friendships - it's been quite a journey for the past 18 months. Happiness and sadness, stress and calmness, highs and lows, you name it, I've probably gone through it during this period.

Had a VCF gathering yesterday. That, coupled with my QT, led me to remember how God has been so faithful throughout my first uni year. Not only in that, but also in the path He has set for me to follow to this course even before entering uni, perhaps even before JC or even earlier - who knows. A night of thanksgiving, praise and worship... so much He gives to us, so little we can give back. Which reminds me how much more I should dedicate more time to Him even in the midst of the hectic school life, and especially so now.

Holiday plans... no plans to go overseas. Not much regrets there, considering the number of things I want to get done. It's kinda creepy to know that this will be the longest holiday ever in the remainder of my life, save for retirement =x Not like hearing stories from my seniors about their life helps in anything too hahaha. One thing is for sure though, this holiday is one that's to be treasured.

As always, the path ahead is unknown except for the rough idea regarding the challenges i'll be facing. My only source of comfort comes from Him who promises to be faithful, now and forever more.

I said to the man
who stood at the gate of the year
“Give me a light that I may tread safely
into the unknown.”
And he replied:” Go out into the darkness
and put your hand into the hand of God.
That shall be better than light
and safer than a known way!”
So I went forth and finding the Hand of God
trod gladly into the night.
M. Louise Haskins (1875-1957)

Post pros

It's been a day and a half since pros ended. About the same time too that I took to get over the last paper.

It's not exactly a good thing if you felt a paper was extremely bad when the general consensus is it was overall an easy paper. And it is so to the extent where I feel there's a pretty good chance that i'll fail it. Perhaps the reason why it affected me so much until now (or maybe it still is) is that, err... Chinese aside, I've never actually failed any major exam. Personal expectations maybe. Or it may also be due to pride as I never actually had to face a fail grade. But either way, it was quite a bad end to pros, and not really one that adds to the yes-pros-are-finally-over kind of joy

Well, thank God i had quite a program packed day right after pros all the way till midnight, with company from friends, filled with laughter and fellowship. It definitely helped to keep myself away from the negative feelings and uneasiness. But then again, during my QT and this whole day, everything just flooded back again. I think back to a verse "Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" A verse that is so simple but yet holds so much truth and so much wisdom. Pity it's always easier to tell that to others than to put into practice.

I figure the only thing I could possibly do now is to cast aside the thoughts of pros and commit everything to God. All burdens, including results, at the foot of the Cross.

Dear God

Strength is starting to seep dry from me. But Father I pray You continue to give me the strength to go on, You give me the perseverance to run this race You have placed me in, and You help me find the rest that I need in You. I pray my eyes will continue to look to You through this tough period and beyond. Father, sustain me and support me. In Jesus' name, Amen.