When God seems... so far...

Again, the "why"s return

Why can't God speak to us directly?
Why can't He tell us what's going on?
Why won't He act immediately when we ask?
Why does it sometimes seem like when we have faith, things still don't go our way?

The list is endless. I've been at this point of my spiritual walk too many times. Pity is, while others learn, I don't seem to. Each time I reach the "why" stage, I falter, only to find that His will is made perfect in His time. Then another situation will come, and I'm back in the vicious cycle. And so here I am, once again.

It's terrible to be in a situation where I wish or know that I could make a change, but know neither where to start, nor how to act. Going through multiple possible solutions, the conclusion is usually: God is the only One who can help. And rightfully so when whatever solution you attempt to use will only make things worse. When things reach this point, there's only one thing to do - pray.

That's where the real problem starts, that's where I am right now. I pray, I put my faith in God, I cry out to Him... nothing happens. Things start to become messier. I get confused, I don't seem to know Him anymore. God doesn't seem to be working.

Or is it so? Am I just blinded by the situation at hand? Or is He just telling me to wait? Maybe He has a greater plan in mind?

I look back at previous experiences and wonder why God isn't showing His works now as He was before. Then I think of how things in the past have had improved after seeking Him with all my heart. And again, I think back of the current situation. My mind is in a muddle now, but I pray that in the midst of this chaos, God will reveal His mighty plan