Faith that is more precious than gold

During the short attachment back at SGH, I met/talked to another few patients. Many of them left me feeling encouraged, left me feeling inspired. But none of them touched me as deeply as one elderly patient, Mdm L.

When I first met her, my very first impression of her was that, she wouldn't hesitate to declare her faith in God, neither would she hesitate to proclaim the gospel and its power. Her clinical condition then, was that she was feeling very breathless, and had to undergo an operation (which was to be done under local anaesthesia) in a non-conventional way which may pose more risks. A few exchanges went something like this...

Doctor: Mdm L, considering how there may be ______ risks, do you still want me to go ahead with the procedure?
Mdm L: Jesus will grant you the wisdom to do it well, go ahead!
~
Doctor: Mdm L, we're almost done. You are very brave! (FYI, even to me, an observer, the operation was so painful just watching it)
Mdm L: God has given me the strength to go through this :)

After the operation, we stayed back to chat with her for a while. Usually patients would talk about their concerns, about their experience so far in the hospital. But this lady here, everything she talked about would be centered around God, God and God. Indeed, she left an impression that would last.

3 days later, when we went back to chat with her, to see how she's doing, it was quite saddening to know that her breathlessness had recurred. Once again, she spoke of God. She spoke of how she has gone out to preach His Word. And how because of that, some of her closest ones have rejected her, and how others have come to know the saving grace of Christ. This time, the one thing that struck me hard was how she recalled God speaking to her 1 year ago saying, "One day, you will die of breathlessness". At that time, she was very confused. She was perfectly well and suddenly, God tells her she'll die of breathlessness one day.

Her current condition: it seemed that the operation 3 days ago only served to alleviate the symptoms without treating the cause (which was under investigation). Mdm L was getting very skeptical about medical science, but while that was so, her faith in God remained as firm as ever. She was crying out to Him, asking Him to bring her home, asking Him to shorten her suffering. She seemed pretty sure that this time, the doctors wouldn't be able to help for the one reason that God is probably calling her home to reward her for her works.

Mdm L told us, "The devil keeps telling me, see, you are suffering so much and God is ignoring you! Just jump down the building now and end your suffering! But God is telling me, you are My daughter and I will bring you home in a few months" She asked us: "Can I ask you? How many months is a few months? Could you tell me? I don't want to feel this way anymore. I want God to bring me home now"

She asked us to pray for her, to pray for God to take her away as soon as possible. Every moment spent talking to Mdm L was heartwrenching. It was so evident that she yearns to see God so much. She yearns for God to bring her to heaven that very moment. Her desire to see God was so overwhelming. At the same time, she was feeling so breathless and in so much pain. One part of me wanted so much to pray for her at that very point in time, to pray with her... But another part of me wondered so greatly, about how I could possibly pray for her, when her prayers would clearly be so much more fervent and so much more broken than my prayers would be.

Mdm L is truly by far, the patient who has touched my heart the most. A patient who has shown me a faith that is so strong and so pure; a love for God that grows with each day, to hunger for Him incessently regardless of her present suffering. Oh LORD, may You see her faith and love for You and honour it...