Ok.. I wanted to put the pictures after my logging but I figured that since blogger would only upload the pictures to the top... I'll just have them first to save lots of "move-the-pictures" time... Please note I'm not a professional photographer and I was only using a camera phone so pardon the poor quality :P
Adriel and Fabriz sleeping on the bus on the way to Khon Kaen. Everyone saw aww...
A picture I took to attempt to remember the thai words for plus minus times and divide for the maths camp...
A picture of the children and the missions team in the AIDS orphanage.
Mr Leong being tickled by the children and trying desperately to direct them to me. Obviously it didn't work which is why I could take this picture =)
Along with the fellowship we came to bring the slum people, we brought along an interactive game which is quite infectious...
It spreaded fast. And you can see that it does hurt a fair bit (no the hand behind doesn't represent paper. It represents a hand going at high velocity to meet another hand.)
The children at the slums participating in the mini chapel that we brought to them
The great clothes giveaway!
And the food too!
Charles Ng performing!! hahahaha Anyone hasn't seen the YouTube video yet? Go search under Charles Ng :D
Here is the story: Gareth instigated a few people to join his NCC squad to "perform" during the birthday/farewell dinner in front of everybody including big Ng. And this is the latter coming after one of the unfortunate members of the squad.
The aftermath. I was part of the squad too and I received my due reward later on...
Group picture! Which is also the picture which told me my flash wasn't working very well
The condo-like hotel which we stayed in in Udon Thani
A message from Kenneth to Russell who gladly accepted it as sauce for his french frice... fri.. fry... whichever
English in Thailand =)
And an attempted translation in the supermarket
What I got from the salad buffet area
Some stuff from the night market. Beautiful isn't it? Handmade trees from glass.
And they got roses too
And this one.. is a pig in a star structure... like duh. My sis would love that but I concluded that if I bought any glass stuff it would just break and any thing like <<<<>
Another item at the night market - supposedly a belt but doesn't it look exactly like the BB crest :P
Yup... that's all the pictures so it's back to my original post for the mission trip. Enjoy - that's if' you really are so free as to read it. It's really dry I tell you first.
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Ok... like 1 and a half months overdue as mentioned in my previous post. Anyway, this is gonna be a log for 10 days and is more of a memory than a post for others to read, but nevertheless if you want a taste of how your teachers read EEs then read this double maybe even triple EE length post =) Ok so an introduction to this mission trip before I begin the logging... I felt a calling from God to go for this trip as I felt God wanted me to do more than just join the CF comm. He wanted me to serve Him in a more "hands-on" manner. Hence, I felt called to go for this trip and by God's grace, my parents did not object! Praise God =) This feels like GP... Point, explanation, evaluation.... Ok ok back to the point. I was in Kenneth's group with David, Malcolm, Joshua, Evelyn, Min Kyeong, Daniel.. and Kenneth (obviously) I'm sorry if I missed anyone out.. my memory isn't that good. Anyway, we were somehow called.. BUBBLES. Which wasn't used very much. Only
one person in the missions team with the garethness used BLOSSOM to call his group.
I wonder who...In Khon Kaen, I stayed in room 1010 with Daniel and opposite was Kenneth and Gareth (yes, just great) in the linked room, 1012. The prayer/logistics room was room 1001 which was open to everyone to, as the name suggests, pray.
Short forms used:
CC - Christmas Concert (basically a rip from Lifehouse:Everything skit)
KK - Khon Kaen
KKC - Khon Kaen Church
KKCS - Khon Kaen Christian School
QT: Quiet Time
. That's about it. I can't think of anymore short forms which I used often... Now to the mission.... pre-mission trip itself (which is
really long)
Pre-mission tripI can't remember much so yeah. Basically just telling us about the Thai culture, basic communication, how to evangalise etc. Of course there was lots of prayer preparation.
Day 1 - SaturdayReached the airport at around... 5.30am I think. zzz There wasn't much to do except say the "hi"s to the team and the people who came to send us off =) Well, the very first problem came when we found out that Lee Min booked the wrong ticket... to be precise she booked a ticket for Friday i.e. 1 day ago and we had to change it. That would only be possible if someone didn't check in before the gates closed..
Well, shortly after Christine came to know about the problem and hey guess what? She had her ticket transferred over to Lee Min! Conclusion was perhaps that was why God had told Christine not to go for the mission trip after she had booked the ticket. Was all a blur at first but the things turned out fine in the end =)
So, we took off and landed in about.. 3 hours or so in Bangkok I think... And not too long after that we went to board a bus which was.. surprisingly small considering all of us packed full luggages (including logistics). In the end, we simply boarded the bus and left our luggage behind while another van was called for to pick it up.
At some point where we stopped for our first proper meal in Thailand, I pulled out my wallet and found 25 baht left - just enough to pay for the meal I asked for (the rest of my money was in the luggage). Whew. The noodles were kinda chewyish and... not say it was bad it was just.. different.
So after that we boarded the bus again for another few hours of the ride and reached Charoen Thani Princess Hotel (in KK). Didn't take long for us to realise the bus was smoking away when we got down. It was as if it was gonna break down if it travelled just a centimetre more!
So early in the trip already and God had showed His faithfulness in so many ways. Indeed, if God wasn't there for us, we wouldn't have the first day of the trip so easy going...
Next on the agenda after checking in and stuff was to go to KKCS. From a distance, the shining lights, the carefully set out tables and the decorated stage could be seen. From what we knew, that welcome was one which they put the least effort in compared to the past few years when other mission teams arrived. Nevertheless, it was one of the warmest welcomes I've ever had. Smiles spread across the faces of the Thais and several wais were made when we made eye contact. Even though the language barrier was a huge problem, they still made a noticable effort to communicate with us and to make us feel at home. They certainly were extremely hospitable.
I had the first feel of the school. And what we were told was really not false. The Thais would do anything to make you happy. It could be clearly seen in the little things they did like pouring coke when our cups were still half full and bringing another tray of meat when we still had two full plates on the table!
After the dinner we returned to the hotel and were told to pray for the room to cast out any demons or evil spirits which might be lurking inside... I had never done this before and felt really weird... But well, it was always good to pray for the Holy Spirit's presence to fill the room!
We had our first debrief of the day followed by a group discussion session. Not really a discussion but more of praying for each other. My prayer request was simply for God to give me a conviction as I was seeking one for the trip but not hearing anything yet. I had long been convicted of unity in Christ and service with love but was unsure as to where to apply it. The only thing I was sure was that God didn't really impress it so much on me for this trip. Some time ago though, I was praying for this trip and I heard from God to "search deeper within". Only problem is God doesn't elaborate all the time.
Well, we were also told to pray for the toilet..? Now that was becoming really weird. But we did anyway. After leaving the prayer room, I found John and Daniel in room 1010 so I went back to Charles Ng's room and had a casual chat regarding my Christian background, conviction etc.
Later on, I returned through Gareth's room as an "uninvited guest" in some unofficial meeting but was told to join them anyway. We had a short worship session and Gareth was talking about having God's heart for the people and some other things which pointed to repentence. Those up for it would be fasting tomorrow (or today... 1 am already).
Back in 1010, I had a similar uneasy feeling prior to the trip and it didn't help things much when Adriel and Fab gave the primers some messages (around 1.30am) which were parallel to my suspicions. Daniel and Gareth thought nothing was wrong but they did seem a little concerned.
During QT, I turned these problems and stuff to God and reflected about the day. Kenneth came to talk to me after that and I told him too about this unknown source of uneasiness in me... And he told me that maybe God just wanted me to keep watch. Keep it in view but don't let it distract me too much.
That's the end of day 1. Phew... Only 1 day and it's been quite overwhelming already.
Day 2 - SundayWe woke up at 7am for QT... well the rest did at least. As for me, I just went back to sleep. From experience, I couldn't do QT for nuts in the morning. I'll just get knocked out. God wouldn't allow me to sleep unless I do my QT anyway so it's always at night ^_^
Somewhere around 8 I woke up, freshened up and rushed down for breakfast. First breakfast in the Chao Princess hotel place and I ate a lot. Wanted to try some of everything or was it in preparation for the fast? I didn't know.
We had worship and devotions in the prayer room after breakfast. It was about Jesus feeding the five thousand. In John 6:6 Jesus asked Philip what would he do? Not that He didn't know what to do but Jesus was testing Philip. So posed to us, what would we do? Can we stretch our faith and give our five loaves and two fish and just let God multiply? Let's make room for God. Invite Him not to visit. But invite Him to STAY. We ended with a prayer and proceeded to the...
~River of Joy Church~It was a Thai service which was tilted towards the Charismatic side. We joined in the middle of worship and obviously, the lyrics were totally foreign to me. Worst than chinese. Yes there is actually a language harder to understand than chinese. It was a really small church but the worshippers were really strong in faith. Also, from the translation by Pastor Bill, the sermon was really meant for the "more mature" Christians.
The Church kind of reminded me of my situation in my family... A Christian in a non-Christian environment... In a way it might be a blessing. It helps to draw me closer to God as it forces me to seek Him constantly because if I don't, nobody in my family will help me do that. Only thing is, is the Church shooting without roots? From what I know, 90% of the new believers backslide. I pray that is not the case for that Church. We had a short talk with Pastor Bill and prayed for him before we left for lunch.
Kenneth, Daniel and I were fasting for lunch so we simply ordered a drink to sip on while the rest feasted in front of us zzz...
Next on the programme was the visit to the AIDS orphanage and we were told about this that this that, basically things to do with the transmission of the virus. Coincidentally, I had two quite long scratches on my arm as I was packing my luggage in quite a hurried manner 2 days ago... And they did say if you had any open wounds or scratches in the past 3 days, do not go. Nevertheless, I just plastered up and decided to trust in God.
We had a short prayer for the trip to the AIDS orphanage which covered the children there and those who were going (some people could not go as their parents did not allow it or had open wounds). This time, it was Gareth who felt uneasy... about the last minute prayers. In his words, it went something like, "Don't you feel weird? Past few days hardly any prayer and now suddenly pray pray pray. Do you have the conviction to go? Do you have the fervor to serve the people?" Yeah, typical Garethness. Well, I didn't feel so.. I'm not sure about the rest but I felt God wanted us to go there to love the children who were mostly abandoned.
My very first impression when I went there was simply JOY. The environment was just filled with joy from the little children. After a short tour of the orphanage, we proceeded to play a few games with them followed by praying for each child before we left.
At first I was wondering how they could be so joyful... I mean, if you know you are infected with some incurable disease that is going to take your life sooner or later, will you still be running around happily and shouting away? Maybe the children have nothing to care about, they are carefree and aren't burdened with anything. Are we ourselves too busy to even enjoy fellowship with God?
Later on, Adriel pointed out that the older kids were "hardened". Perhaps due to the insecurity they have experienced over the past few months where visitors simply came and never returned...
During dinner I decided to continue my fast as I didn't exactly feel any hunger or anything. I didn't exactly need to rely on God during the fast so I thought I would just continue the fast. But in the end, it all came to waste. What is fasting without prayer? I had to admit, I had close to or even zero prayer throughout my fasting period. The end result? I was simply made hungry. Full stop. No element of God at all in my fast. Another learning point in this mission trip.
We had worship and devotions at night about being broken. Are we broken enough to love God?Charles Ng told this story about a crippled widow with three sons whom she sent to Africa to evangelise... But they were all eaten up by some cannibals there. Someone asked her, does she feel regret? And yes, she did. She regretted she did not have a fourth son to send. She was broken for God and would sacrifice her all for him. Peter was not really broken. He claimed, "LORD I will never deny You" But soon after, he had no qualms about denying his relationship with Him. What does it mean to have a broken and contrite heart? The next song was the wonderous Cross. The words that really struck me was "my greatest gain I count but loss" Think about it.
Group sharing was pushed to tomorrow but nevertheless, we had a prayer session to pray for every team member. The primers had a meeting with Charlers about the general reflection about the day. And most people felt the churches in KK were really strong. Someone pointed out a verse regarding the AIDS orphanage. "The rejected one(s) became the chief cornerstone" -> are the children the future of KK? Of the world? We had a prayer session too for the people who were already falling sick.
After the primers were dismissed, I talked to Charles about my conviction hoping that he would help me to pray about my conviction as well.
It was only the 2nd day but I was learning faster and more than I thought I would. I was really really tired.. but God reminded me that I had to do my QT. A moment of slackening means the devil will strike and that isn't very fun
Day 3 - MondayWe had a group debrief for yesterday in the morning and I shared mainly about how I felt about the Church experience. We then had a prayer training session in the prayer room, as expected, by Charles Ng. One of his first few lines was "what dominates your thoughts dominates your prayers". Jesus' thoughts was for God's glory.
The centrality of prayer - glory of God
The purpose of prayer - pursuit of God
The cost of prayer - everything
We cannot hold on to anything when we pray. We just need to lay down everything. If we desire to keep our lives, we'll lose it and vice versa. To love God is to love prayer - surrender all thoughts that come during prayer. There's no better way to learn prayer than to pray.
We had worship at intermediates and there was a spiritual high in the room for sure. It was then God spoke to me again during worship - *Don't let this be just another moment of a spiritual high or a singspiration. Make worship a lifestyle.* Indeed, singspirations aren't what God looks for in us.
We had a team fast over lunch followed by a prayer walk around KKCS and then the city of KK. It was a rather charismatic thing to do and I didn't exaclty know how it was done or what to look out for but somehow I saw some things which amde me feel that God was going to restore KKCS, especially in the spiritual aspect. I didn't get anything during the prayer walk at the city though. We had a team sharing after the prayer walk. The two main sharings came from MinKyeong: The people in the city are trapped. And then from Joshua: The cleansing of the feet will cure the dryness of the land. KKenneth got convicted differently - felt that KKCS was not exactly being revived by God due to the new and old areas of the school. Maybe it meant replacing the old with the new?
We had a maths camp preparation after that followed by an unofficial prayer session where we prayed for the people helping our at the Christmas concert - a concert targetted at evangelising to the Thais. We prayed mainly for the Holy Spirit to manifest at the concert and that the hearts of the people will be softened to receive the Word.
We had dinner followed by worship and sharing and I heard about the experience of the prayer talk from other team members. I learnt quite a bit especially for the slum people who were described as being more receptive and more spiritually dependent (although they had their minor gods and all to pray to). But anyway, the fact that they rely on spiritual help, they were the key target for this mission trip.
For some reason, I had a strange inner peace at night when we all returned to our rooms to do our QT, bathing etc. Perhaps God has relieved me of what was troubling me? I proceeded to doing my QT but shortly after Fab came and told me that he prayed for Emil and Evelyn (who apparently had some problems) and resolved their conflict with one another. Hey praise God! But at the same time, I felt quite disappointed with myself. God was telling me to do something about the two of them before the trip started but I only thought about it. No action at all. In the end, God sent someone else (in this case Fabriz) to do it. Have I failed Him? But either way, God was teaching me a lesson. Still, praise Him for the team is now more united =)
Day 4 - TuesdayDay four started quite badly for me. I was extremely tired already and it was only the fourth day..! The usual happened, wake up, wash up, breakfast, rush to prayer room. We had devotions again, this time telling us to let go of anger, perfectionalism and intellectualism.
Anger: The story of Mary and Martha: Are we sometimes like Martha, blaming God for how things turn out when we aren't even seated at His feet to listen to what He has to say to us but are instead distracted by other worldly things?
Perfectionalism: I kinda dazed out so I didn't catch what was being said...
Intellectuallism: Child-like faith -> Enter the Kingdom of God like a child. Children listen by relationships and not logic. We don't need to understand why this is this and that is that, just understand that we should trust in God fully.
We had our maths camp after devotions followed by lunch in KKCS and it was debrief already. The day in general was spiritually uneventful. We went to the YWAM (Youths With A Mission) service which was a Church run by korean missionaries. As before, although the church was small, the church was strong and I felt God's presence fill the place during the worship (again in Thai. Duh.) The sermon was given in Thai too but there was this kind soul who offered to translate the sermon for us. To be honest, he wasn't exactly that good hahaha but hey that's better than listening to a bunch of gibberish to me. From what I picked up, the preacher's main points were:
Jesus is hope and we have peace in Him
Do not fear because in Jesus, we have hope
Spread His love. As we have freely recieved, freely give
There were some questionable points I found though, how mature were the Christians there? Have the been prepared? Evangelism is important, but are they substituting spiritual growth for that?
We had a meal in the church and prayed for the pastor before we left. The debrief at night was a sharing from Ms loke about her experience in Thailand. She was flying off at 6.30 am the next day so we sent her off with a prayer.
We had a short primers meeting (scolding actually..) followed by supper. Many people went out to some famous noodle stall recommended by Big Ng but I decided to stay in the hotel. Petrina (who stayed too) came to my room after we both finished bathing, supposedly for a food party but guess what? Gareth came in asking about the prayer walk and his normal Gareth-like question: Was it life changing? Well no, it was just a learning experience... He said that he felt nothing and felt quite uneasy.. (his turn now) and said he got some.. scary verse..? I never found out what it was.
Somehow his entry gave Petrina and I a topic to discuss on other than just bullshitting as we do best in the Primers' room with Fab and the rest. She started about something regarding the end times so I shared about my journey as a Christian very briefly and noted about how Churches and Christian ministries have been going much deeper in. They were going for quality over quantity. As in, they won't care if they chased away the whole Church but retained 10 Christians who were very strong in faith. No more of God loves you, God is good etc. It was more of will you die for Jesus? Will you go forth to the nations and spread His word?
Petrina pointed out Ezekiel 7 which was identified by Lee Min and her. A really welcoming title met my sight (something about the end times) and then Joshua came in halfway, caught up with the conversation and said stuff about REVELATIONS. Is the end of the world really coming? It took 600 years for the prophecy of Isaiah to come through and now two thousand years later, the world has not yet come to an end.. Is it coming soon? As in really soon?
Day 5 - WednesdayWe had group QT in the morning after breakfast but again I could hardly concentrate or communicate with God as it was simply, the morning. We had morning devotions after that about the Cross. It was a symbol of death and shame. Will we take up the cross? Will we take up death and shame? Dead men care not what people say about them. What about us? Are we dead to our sins and the world? A wounded spirit leads to bitterness but a broken spirit leads to desperation. Desperation for Christ.
We had the day 2 of the maths camp followed by CC preparation. The day (like yesterday) was physically filled but spiritually untouched. The night debrief was a sharing by Thong Bin and Wai Keng who were co-missionaries in Thailand for years. We heard about their testimony and their current activity in the Gerald Khoo World Harvest Foundation - a foundation which aimed at uniting the Churches around the world (or Thailand, not sure). They had a compassion for the people and asked us to pray for the teenagers and youths. They may have the experience, the methods, the funds and all, but they need God's guidance
Somehow, uneventful as it was, I was drained both physically and spiritually. I was forced to depend on God for physical strength and spiritual refreshment.
Day 6 - ThursdayOnce again, we had group QT in the morning... zzzz..... I was spending time more on reading than actually spending time with God. We had devotions in the prayer room after a rushed breakfast. The key verse was Luke 21:17 - We will be hated for His name's sake. Will we stand against the trials? The cross represented the crucifixion of our LORD Jesus Christ. Some of us wear the cross on ourselves. But not all of us know that it is actually a symbol of sin and shame, not of glory and power.
Day 6 was again a spiritually uneventful morning afternoon and evening. We had the last day of the maths camp, followed by lunch and then CC practise and an evening nap which many of us dearly needed. Everybody was tired already. Dinner was next followed by devotions.
It was about God's desires over ours. God is longing to answer our prayers. He loves the children and city more than we do and yearns for a revival me than we do. Faith is dependent on how well we know a thing. The more we know God, the stronger our faith in Him. There was a story of this boy throwing hamsters >_<
Day 7 - Friday
Breakfast at 7, QT at 8, prayer room at 9. Guess what, I woke up at 9. We had worship which was really the ol' primary school songs with the actions in them. It reminded me of how the seed was planted in my heart so subtley by God during my primary school days. Devotions was by Mr Jonathan Ng who used Ruth 1 for the whole thing. It was about Ruth who stayed faithful and Orpah who left and disappeared into history. Who will we be like? God gave a promise to king Solomon, king David, Abraham and all but not Ruth. 12th coy has come on this mission trip not with a promise from God but with only a calling. Will we still stay faithful though the future may seem uncertain to us?
We had lunch after that followed by a slum visit and helping out in the area. I saw the conditions in which the people lived in and compared to the blessed life in Singapore, they were living in horrendous conditions. We interacted with the children and after some time, I could see they also had so much joy and happiness, so much like the children in the AIDS orphanage. Why can't we be as happy as them everyday even though we're so much more blessed than they are? Work? Projects?
There was a chapel like session for the slum kids, so much like in ACJS so many years ago. Worship with the little hand actions and all, and a modified parable of the prodigal son given my Mr Chow, using toys for money. I felt hope for the children and at the same time misgivings. Hope because I was wondering if they would have their foundation planted there just like ACJS did for me? Will they have the "gradual acceptance" experience? But misgivings because will they only know
about Christ just like I did as well? Are they simply
saying Christmas is about Jesus, they want to go to heaven, or participating just because it is fun or going with the flow? Or is this really the child-like faith God is looking for in us? It was evident that the children there knew that God really loves them and the parents and the village chief did not seem to react negatively to what was preached or to the Christian environment!
We gave out food and clothes after that and interacted more with the children. From this visit alone, I learnt even more things. We returned back to KKCS and then the hotel after that as it was too dark to go into the slums to talk to the people there. Many more people were falling sick, including me. We prayed for the healing of everybody who weren't feeling well. I told myself that I needed to rest well as God wants us to have fresh minds for Him to use us.
We had worship and devotions at night and Charles Ng talked about faith. Following Christ is expensive but we need to lay down what little we have of worth, give it to God and He will multiply. Abraham only had one son even though he was promised descendents like the stars and Moses did not enter the promised land. Faith is built upon hope. It is the substance of things hoped for. People lived in faith and died in faith. They did not see promise fulfilled in their lives but by faith, their promise was fulfilled. Again, there was an emphasis on surrender and repentence.
I unintentionally saw part of Mr Chow's letter to Gareth and it wrote there 1 Peter 4:7-11. Verse 7 again pointed to the end of the world. But Mr Chow told Gareth to take note of verse 10 which was talking about helping one another. Clearly, the focus was different. Am I not listening carefully, or is God telling each one of us different things for different purposes?
There was a prayer meeting at 10 but I did not attend it as I felt I couldn't meet God in prayer until I laid everything down before Him. My troubles and questions for Him were building up with each passing day...
Day 8 - SaturdayThere was again devotions in the morning and again, I missed breakfast. The verses used was Exodus 33:15-23. God showed His glory by His goodness and His name. He cannot show it with His face or man will perish. Maybe he also doesn't want another "golden calf" to be built and worshipped with His face on it? The "golden calf" would not reflect the full glory of God which is an insult to Him if built. Men sin not because they love sin too much but because they love God too little. Once
again, there was an emphasis on surrender. We were told to leave the prayer room and not to enter it again until we surrendered everyting.
I spent time time in 1010 surrendering whatever I felt I needed to, to God. I re-entered the prayer room quite quickly but had not fully surrendered yet. However, I did mange to surrender everything inside the prayer room and I found tears coming down my face. Tears of joy. I understood how good it felt to leave everything to God and expereince the fullness of His joy filling my heart. And also realised how the children could be so happy and joyful. Charles Ng emphasised the point: the result of surender is JOY. PURE JOY. TEARS OF JOY. Surrender is not a one time thing. It's a process, an everyday thing.
Mr Jonathan Ng added on after that: This mission trip is very differnt from the rest of the Dec mission trips. After asking a few people like Gareth and Mr Chow, he added that God is dealing with us in a very personal way. He is making us surrender and agonize with Him over sins just like Jacob, one by one.
After the rather solemn period of surrender, we had lunch and then proceeded back to the hotel for the CC rehearsal. After that, we went early to KKCS to walk around the school to pray. We prayed at the gates, at the stage and at the field where children could be heard rehearsing carols. We also prayed for the chairs that the people were going to sit on. However, due to time constrain I only covered 4 rows while the rest covered a few other rows. Not all the chairs were prayed for but we were called back. Back up at the chapel, I said a general prayer from the level 3 chapel. Then it occured to me that in Mark 10:16, it said that Jesus layed His hands on them, meaning He prayed for each individual. We should have done the same too but unfortunately we were limited by time.
We had a prayer and worship session at the chapel before the CC started. There was loud singing of praises and worship with strong prayers incorporated in. Again, it did not feel like another plain emotional experience but one where everyone really sought God and were crying out to Him for the people. The company theme song "One in vision, one in Christ" was also sang and everyone went to their knees at the chorus. It was a beautiful moment and we knew that God's presence was so real. We were confident He would work on the people's hearts during this CC.
We had dinner after that and I made a last minute decision to fast for the concert. I was praying that God would move the hearts of the people, touch them and bring them to know Him in such a personal way. We also had a short prayer before the CC people went up on stage to perform. Turned out that the skit we did appeared even better than every single one of our rehearsals as this time it wasn't just a rehearsal. It was the actual thing. And we were really doing it for God and God alone in front of the people He so loves. Though we found out that we somewhat rushed through the skit (hey everyone was nervous), we were glad that by God's grace, the skit was a success.
We returned to the hotel for debrief then had some meeting regrading surrender. The final aim was to have a corporate surrender for the whole mission trip team. Is it achievable? Noone knew but one thing was sure. It would be very tough especially because there were so many issues to address. We ended the session after much QnA with Mr Jon. Ng. We were supposed to continue at 7am the next day.. which never really did happen.
During my QT I gave thanks to God for letting me know how tremendously good it felt to surrender all the things that burdened me to Him and to be able to seek Him without barriers i.e. opening all the doors in my heart without leaving any private area. I realised that whatever once filled my heart left a void when I removed it and left it at His feet. What happened to the void? The joy of the LORD filled that void and much much more. The feeling is really amazing.
Day 9 - SundayQT was in the morning and as before, I was reading the bible more than I was communicating with God. Today, we went to KKC which was right beside KKCS. It wasn't exactly a small church. Maybe slightly bigger than mine in fact, with the land area much much bigger than my church but anyway, it was a church for the people in the area and we attended a youth service before going for the main one.
We had a short introduction to one another as we met the Thai youths who attended the Church. The pastor preached from the scripture of Romans 12:12 which told us to be holy sacrifices for our holy God. I didn't really get much even though there was quite a good translator translating (what else..). So after that, we split into small groups and prayed for each other (Thais and Singaporeans) then proceeded to the church service...
where we performed the skit again. The stage was really small, much smaller than we thought but we believed that such a small space constrain problem would not be an obstacle to us or God as we were again, performing for our great God. The pastor from YWAM came to speak at KKC, again preaching about evangelism and how we should go out and proclaim the good news to others. Again, the same concerns from me arose... But nevertheless, I tried not to be too troubled by it. We had lunch in KKC then went back to the hotel.
Mr Evan Yap came to share his testimony as to how God has brought him through and how he has been sustained throughout the two years in KK where he came to obey his calling. He told us his prayer requests and after he left, we had a short meeting about surrendering... again...
There was a farewell/birthday dinner (for Arjan Songsri's husband) for us at KKCS, after which we returned back to hotel for a worship session which eventually became a surrendering session, which was really very sudden. We didn't expect it so soon again..! Have we properly guided the team? I don't think so. Nobody thought so. Surrendering is extremely hard, especially the closet sin that we tend to hide even from ourselves as it would hurt to much to open the wardrobe and remove that rotting skeleton from inside.
I tried to take it to a more personal basis after the "surrendering session" by engaging Malcolm in conversation... and Gareth just
had to interrupt halfway... and so it ended there. There was a short "debrief" about surrendering and it was noted that we needed to put a personal touch into it, making sure everyone is clear about surrendering. The how the why the what and eveything else.
Once again, the irony showed. God has moved really strongly in this trip. The thing is, He moved in us. The 12th coy and not KK. In trying to bless KK, God instead showers blessings on us by working on us more than in the people of KK. Why? Why? I don't know. We don't know. I noticed that the joy I experienced yesterday was missing today, as if i have never surrendered to Him at all. I wrote out the possibilities as part of my QT and got the following:
- God wanted me to know how awesome it felt to leave eveyrthing to Him?
- I have not fully surrendered?
- I have taken back what I have surrended?
- More things are starting to bother me?
- Uncovered and unsurrendered closet sin?
- A conviction to pray harder?
- Or not seeking Him enough?
God has yet to answer me.
Day 10 - Monday
We started off the day writing cards for the KKCS teachers as a form of encouragement with breakfast halfway through. Soon after, we had a bus ride to Udon Thani, checked in, had lunch, followed by shopping, dinner and more shopping zzz... The mission trip was unofficially over already since we had left KK.
We had deovtions at the new prayer room at the 6th storey. 2 Timothy 3:1-9 was the verse regarding the the last days and it pointed out that it would be times of distress. The verse was addressed to Christians rather than pre-believers. The predominant questions asked were, "are we having godliness without its power? How much do we exercise our faith outside church? Are we always learning but not able to accept the truth?" We have been substituting knowledge for truth. We know so much but have so little power. If we have godliness without power, knowledge without truth, our faith will remain a mustard seed and not grow. We can pray and fast etc. but do we really know its purpose? "Are we trying to see revival in others without ourselves being revived? The true test of faith is when we see the fruit of the Spirit in us. The devotions was basically a whole bunch of questions directed at us to keep us in check.
Then, there was a time of surrender. It was an overkill I tell you. Surrendering is important but it has been over emphasised in this trip for sure..! This time, we were told to write down whatever sin was troubling us. Whatever sin God was telling us to surrender and it would only be between us and God. Somehow, I felt God was telling me to surrender something to Him but I was unable to identify it.
First and possibly the last time I approached Gareth on my own accord to talk to Him about it and he was, I could say, pleasantly surprised. Anyway, he told me that maybe I have surrendered it all, or I just have to wait for God to show me what else He wanted me to surrender. He told me to reflect on the mission trip. I also talked to Adriel and both of them told me not to worry too much. During my QT, I had a short time of reflection.
The rest of night was more fun stuff than spiritual stuff. Or should I say, just plain retardedness. Really. Gareth turned madder and grabbed like 30+ soap bottles from everybody's room and started to make a mega foam bath... But that night, I really praised God. He has been providing me which people to turn to whenever I needed help =) Thank You LORD.
Day 11 - Tuesday
We had morning devotions about making an altar or a mark to show our Christian faith, to ensure that we would have a checkpoint in future to make sure we do not fall away from God. One day, God forbid, officers and boys may backslide. We were told to write a letter to ourselves... Third time I did that. Feels really retarded but I did anyway.
The rest of the trip wasn't really much of anything other than shopping and travelling. Domestic flights are horrifying I tell you.
And when I touched down in Singapore, that officially marked the end of the mission trip, but never the end of our spiritual trip to eternity =)
