9 days

I don't really believe in myself... but I believe in You

Just another random thought

It's been a while since my last post - perhaps because of struggles here and there, both emotionally and spiritually. The past 2 months of my life were terrible - devoid of God; that feeling where I know I need to seek Him but at the same time, feeling... just so distant. Thank You God that I have now reconciled myself with You...

Perhaps I'm one who thinks about things, thinks too much at times or maybe most of the time. A particular happening may be small, but I can think it through until it starts becoming huge to me, regardless of how small it really is. Not just once, but on many occasions. I'm thinking, is it human nature to analyse things so thoroughly? We are stuck at where we are, we project an infinite number of possibilities and fear the consequences of each if we carry out a particular action. We think about what happens tomorrow and fear the endless possibilities of disasters. What if things don't go as we wish? What if we don't do what we ought to, and something terrible happens? - The word 'if' can be said to appear an insensible number of times in our thoughts

Then after thinking things through and rationalizing with ourselves, our heart comes in and says, hey everything is just wrong. Logic may say this, but somehow, I just feel it should be the other way... As if the brain doesn't have enough conflict with itself, the heart comes in and makes things more complicated than they are.

Logic may lead us in a very sensible direction but we at times, we end up following our heart because it just seems to be 'the right thing' to do. Or we can think things through and come to a conclusion that things aren't working out right - then it just takes a simple message from another that speaks to the heart and our judgement is altered: things seem to be going perfect.

Sometimes it's really amusing how our heart can dominate over logic. It can be a nudge from God, a simple gut feeling or even a message from a person that completely changes our day.

Maybe, just maybe... Maybe God gave us a heart for the purpose of ruling over the brain at special times.

It's funny too, that I wanted to write about how my days in the past month have been bogged down with various thoughts and how different events or encounters made it worst - and now I'm here writing about how the heart can change everything... simply because my heart told me to