Dear God

Strength is starting to seep dry from me. But Father I pray You continue to give me the strength to go on, You give me the perseverance to run this race You have placed me in, and You help me find the rest that I need in You. I pray my eyes will continue to look to You through this tough period and beyond. Father, sustain me and support me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Psalm 23; Psalm 121

Psalm 23
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
3 He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for His name's sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Psalm 121
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
He who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
He will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

I'm not really a fan of the book of Psalms, but these two psalms, I should say, are the ones that give me comfort and strength in times of weakness. Exams are 19 days away, and here I am, awake at 2am in the morning, not studying.

I'm starting to feel more drained and more lifeless as the days go on. Ironically, the closer I am to exams, the more I feel I can't finish studying, and the more I don't feel like studying because of that. Completely the opposite of the norm where my pace of studying picks up exponentially as exams draw closer.

After closing my textbook an hour ago and wasting time on facebook or random online minigames, these psalms suddenly struck my mind, it was as if God is trying to push me on, trying to encourage me to persevere. So I hope in sharing these Psalms, if you too are in the midst of exams or in the midst of any trials or tough situations, you too will be encouraged.

Your grace is sufficient for me, for Your power is made perfect in my weakness.

Stress

It's only 40 days to the exams now and I'm beginning to feel the stress building up already... Don't even know if I should be taking some time out to post this by either way I still am.

Somehow I find that in the midst of all this stress, it tends to have an effect on me... not so much of the physical aspect like health or lethargy though it sure has taken a toll of some sort... But I guess it's more in terms of behaviour and temperament.

I've realised that through the major examinations like O levels, J1 promos, A levels and I guess now... almost every exam can be considered major in some sense.. I tend to feel very very easily irritated. The smallest of things tend to annoy me, I tend to show discontentment even to my parents at times... I don't know why but it just happens even though I don't want it to. In fact, I start feeling disappointed with myself after that fleeting moment of anger.

I reflect upon such happenings and find my actions unacceptable, shocking, and perhaps even repulsive - something I would like to change. Problem is I never do bring a check to myself until I get some quiet moments like now.

In such times that I get, meditating upon the fruit of the Spirit tends to give me more peace and calmness compared to any other stress outlet, in addition to giving me a constant reminder of how my life should be.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" - Galatians 5:22-23

Some say that the fruit of the Spirit depicts how the ideal diciple of Jesus Christ should be. I have much to work towards but I pray that I'll continue to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Hopefully this post too, will serve as a reminder to myself if I do come back to read it in the future.