School's starting =(

So I was thinking... I've kinda bummed away the whole of December, not much study done. Heck, even those who went overseas have studied more than me LOL.

Last night I was doing some mental planning... I've got today, 31st, 1st and 2nd until school starts on the 3rd... And I figured I will probably only finish 30-50% of what school has covered so far before more comes - so screwed =x

But somehow, something triggered me to push for a little (or not so) bit more. To put my fatih in God and believe He'll help me with my studies. And so last night... I've decided that within these 4 days, I'll aim to complete 14 hours of webcast AND study that much worth of notes after the webcast. (For the record, I've only completed 6 hours of webcast + those notes over the past 2 weeks) That's a rough estimate of about a 8 fold increase in my study pace. Ugh~ God help me. I believe You can.

Blessed is the 25th of December

For on this day, 2010 years ago, the Saviour was born to us

"For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" - Isaiah 9:6

Who can even begin to perceive the greatness, the power and the majesty that descended to this earth to be with mankind instead of staying in the glory that He enjoyed in heaven?

On this faithful day, He came to dwell amongst man, to experience our hurts and pains, to understand the temptation we face, to go through all that we've been through and will go through. Despite all this, He remained sinless, holy and blameless before the Father, only to become the Lamb who was the Perfect Sacrifice for our sin.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are — yet was without sin" - Hebrews 4:15

"We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all" - Isaiah 53:6

Let us not forget that the spirit of giving during Christmas stemmed from the ultimate gift that was given to all of mankind about 2000 years ago. And even more so, let's not forget to continually give thanks, praises, honour and glory to the One who became our gift of life.

Happy birthday Jesus :)

The past week

Hmm... where should I start... the week has been so packed (the main culprit being playhouse - although it was quite a fun and fulfilling experience) for me with so many things happening one after another

Playhouse was indeed an eye-opener (the actual play that is) and although I got pulled in at the last minute to help out with the sets/crew (aka saikang) it was definitely time worth spending: both with friends, and getting to know others better + getting to know new people. It was terribly exhausting but I would say that overall, it was a worthy investment

I remember how just last week I had been so bothered and disturbed about countless things (playhouse aside) that made me so stressed and almost jaded to the world around me. I sought the help of my parents, seniors, to some extent friends, and the counsel of God - All of which appeared to come to naught.

It was only until this week (or towards the end of last week... can't rmbr) that things started falling into place. And much more beautifully than I had expected or even wished for.

Once again, through the course of this week, God's grace has shone through my life and I am extremely grateful to Him~ The next 3-4 weeks ahead seem to be relatively more relaxed and less demanding than the past week... Maybe its time I started studying again after going through the avalanche of events

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. - Ecclesiastes 3:11"

It's finally overrr

Thank God that CA1 is over. Really - thank You God.

This period of studying has been so extremely exhausting, almost comparable to my pros last year if not worst. By right I should be sleeping now given how my body doesn't normally function a full day with 2.5 hours of sleep after being sleep deprived for the past 1 week. But I just thought that I have to blog this post tonight, to say a special thank you, not only to the Most High but also to every single one of my friends who has seen me through this period.

When things get tough, demoralising and overhwelming, it's simply impossible to contain everything within me and to continue struggling ahead alone. It's in times like these, where the smallest things from friends can be the greatest encouragement. Be it a nudge on msn, a 3 minute htht or even a simple sms, I would like to say that every one of these is greatly appreciated :) A little smile can go a long way especially in the face of not-so-kind bacteria and viruses and drugs that just don't make any sense. To all of you out there, here's a big thanks =D

Just came home relatively late after a mindless chill-out with friends at a Holland V playground. Although I was (and am) really shagged out, just the company of friends (+ the random chatter) was sufficient to keep me awake. Made me realise once again how school would be so unbearable without the people around me. So once again, thanks for the fun, cheer and laughter that all of you place in school life :)

And last but definitely not the least, to Him who has seen me through countless obstacles and hurdles, the biggest thank You to You LORD Jesus :) Thank You for Your unfailing sustainance, thank You for Your unfailing love and assurance that You give me daily. Thank You for everything You have done for me and everything You have given to me. Thank You, thank You.

Ok that felt strangely like some grammy awards thing. Nitez.

Through Him alone

Less than a week to exams; terribly behind schedule; don't even know why I'm blogging now... maybe I'm just too exhausted to continue... mentally, physically, hopefully not spiritually...

I tried studying in the library today.. for >5 hours for once. Not too bad, except for the fact that I was just way too tired to continue at one point... I went out for some fresh air, to do some on-the-spot QT with God, seeking rest and refreshment. A simple prayer relieved me of my stress and perhaps that bit of frustration that was building up due to the time constrain. Pity all this just seemed to overwhelm me again the moment I sat down to study again.

Ok so far the post has been really emo. I know. Problem is, even right now, while I'm supposed to be mugging my head off, the drive to continue just isn't there. Well of course, the general cohort isn't much better off either I suppose. Everybody's rushing for time, everybody's all stressed out. Once again, my comfort comes from the LORD who promises to be with me throughout. I need the faith to trust in this promise of His and cling on to it as I plunge back in to material that's totally greek. (or latin actually)

Quoted slightly out of context, but it's still an encouraging verse to me :)
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26

Father, I pray You give me the strength that I need to continue. May my soul find rest in You, may my eyes continue to look upon You for the grace that You so freely give. Renew me daily LORD, as I strive to press on ahead on the road that You have set me on.

How to avoid drifting from God

Just watched a video posted by "The Bible" on facebook... it's entitled as this post is. Key verse: I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing - John 15:5

It's true that apart from Him we can do nothing... The dude in the video described how sometimes we're like a balloon which is all puffed up and the huge words are displayed - Smile :) Jesus loves you. Thing is, sometimes when we are deflated, the balloon just becomes that small crummy piece of rubber, the words shrink too and the words - Smile :) Jesus loves you becomes so shrivelled up that it becomes unnoticable. The truth still remains, but it just becomes so small in our sight that we forget about Him. We forget our God and we drift away...

Apart from Him, I can do nothing. It's a gentle reminder that even in this exam period, as things start to get stressful once again, I'll have to remain in Him if I ever wish to accomplish anything in the exams... or even in this study period for the matter.

Just Let Me Say

New song I learnt today in VCF FT... Nice song; wonderful lyrics~

Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face

And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame

Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You my Lord and Friend

So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I've found in You

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend (x2)

Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Ploughing ahead

It's only been three days into school and things are already happening at bullet train speed. Not just academically, although that too has just been overwhelming. But the things happening around me aren't just academically centred.

In this short period of time, there's been so much going on, some were joyous occasions, others were somewhat more emotionally-draining. The common question to all these now, are: Where do I go from there?

Doors that used to be open are now closed, other closed doors are now opening, while doors which were never there are now starting to appear. It's all a haze when I start to think about my possible options and the different available routes. Weighing pros to cons, cost to benefit, there are so many things that I simply cannot put into perspective; worst still, it's all happening in this short timeframe. I'm currently at that point where i'm in between attempting to solve my problems and being jaded by what's happening. At times I just wish I could adopt the escapist attitude and find a window to throw things out rather than decide on which door to take. Or better still, if only God would just lay before me a bright red carpet towards the best door to go through and usher me in...

The only hope that is keeping me going now is that God has promised to be faithful and guide me in my steps.

"That is why we are not discouraged. Though outwardly we are wearing out inwardly we are renewed day by day" - 2 Corinthians 4:16

Random before school thoughts

Ok, so I aimed to finish the whole Abbas textbook during recess week and ended up finishing a quarter so far. How productive. So what do I do when I can't study/don't feel like studying? I do other things =D

So.. I dug up an old link that I saved for reading some 1 year ago and finally brought it up to read again. It's titled: Do Evil and Suffering Disprove the Existence of God? Pretty interesting read, although heavy on the mind if you try to analyze it... If you do read it though, the links on the page itself are broken so you'll have to change the number on the URL from 1>2>3 to go to pg 1/2/3 respectively

Anyways, I read it through, and on page 3, there was this line that sort of impacted me a decent bit:

"A child who is hurting needs, not an intellectual explanation, but reassurance"

I'm reminded of the times when I question God why, why and why. Up to now, I still don't have answers to many of the 'why's but I find that, each time I did slip into that mayhem of confusion and distress, the way I climbed out of it, wasn't by answers but rather by the reassurance by God. Answers would seem to be a better comfort but then, answers do lead to more questions. It's a never ending cycle.

In the same way, I find that whenever things start to weigh down, when it seems the whole world just comes crashing down, it's the reassurance of God that keeps me going. Even right now, as I'm on a sian/emo-streak with that void of emptiness within me, I pray that God will reasssure me of His unfailing love, His ever-lasting grace and His divinest comfort.

Sigh~ so much more to write about but I suppose I better get back to studying. Recess week wasn't too fulfilling; I wish I had another one. But I suppose having one week is better than nothing... From the optimistic viewpoint, there's still Sunday tomorrow =O

Edit: I just finished reading the last part of it and came across this line: "In addition, many Christians will testify that Christ provides inner resources to cope, as well as joy in the midst of difficulties and suffering when we trust Him. And He promises that He causes all things to work together for good to those who love God." Amen! :D

VCF Fellowship Talk 140910

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Always put God first in everything you do;
Never make studying your first priority
- Professor Lockhart
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